B3 – That’s what she said

Bar Bingo

You see it all sometimes and then there are things that surprise you.

The Good:

 “I’ve only licked two buttholes.”

As my friends and I laugh at this rather unexpected statement from another table on the patio, I take a drag from my cigarette. There is suddenly a bizarre, chemical flavor in my mouth. This seems doubly weird to be as this is a hand rolled cigarette, so it shouldn’t have as much in the way of chemical additives. One of the people at my table takes in my facial expression and the smacking of my lips and mouth and asks me what is wrong.

“My cigarette tastes funny,” I say, “kind of like lube.”

Another girl at the table looks at me strangely. She says, deadpan, “Menthol I like. Lube, no.” For some reason this, among many other conversations that night, ones that I am involved in and the ones I hear, is just the funniest thing ever. My stomach hurts from all the laughing, but it is a good night.

The Bad:

The nights here aren’t always so good. Maybe it’s the atmosphere. Maybe I just don’t fit in well with this group of people. Maybe I drink too much. There’s the guy with the bad BO that I take home after one Ladies’ Night after way too much free vodka. There’s the night the toilet paper gets caught in my skirt. (Luckily, a gal catches me right after I exit the bathroom and is nice enough to tell me about it!)

Oddly, I keep seeing small field rabbits on the way to the bar. This summer was somewhat odd, weather-wise. The rabbit sightings freak me out. I am very interested in signs, portents, symbols, and what not. I’m very superstitious. (Little do I know that rabbits are to become a running theme.) I’m infatuated with several people, but it’s going nowhere.

The Ugly:

I have to stop drinking so much, I tell myself. I make such poor fucking decisions when I drink to excess. This summer I’ve *fallen off the wagon*, twice, seen SEVERAL things I wish I could un-see… things that are gross or scary. I have trusted the wrong people, been hurt in all ways possible, hurt others by allowing myself to be a bully, pushed too many buttons, and started fights.

I miss the Little Beastie. 😦

 

Theme songs

  • Get Lucky – Daft Punk
  • will.i.am – Scream & Shout ft. Britney Spears
  • Robin Thicke – Blurred Lines ft. T.I., Pharell
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