This letter is not meant to be mean, or nasty. It is an honest assessment of what has happened. You stated in one of your texts that you “judge people by the way that they treat you.”
XXXXX and I are doing the same, and yet you have refused to see that.
I tried for the past several months to tell you how bad that guy was treating me, and you would not listen. Since then you had made a point of taking him everywhere that we went, and because of this things got worse, between all of us! XXXXX even talked to you, and several others said that they tried, but you would not listen to anyone. You would smile at me and tell me that you, “got along with everyone” when I would bring it up. It seemed that you were enjoying it somehow, but I was not!
You did not have to tell XXXXX that you do not care for me, because your actions proved it. Why you would call me a bf, and then put me in situations that were stressful and abusive is beyond comprehension, especially when we were supposed to be out to have fun. That is not something that you would, or should do to a friend. This is how you “treated” me, and XXXXX .
You had the power to stop the abuse, but you did not care. He would have stopped if you had told him that he would have to leave otherwise, but you chose to allow his behavior to get so out of hand that he physically assaulted me, with my own purse.
He pulled my purse back, and then he shoved it into me so hard that he shoved me forward, almost into you and XXXXX. He aimed, knowing that you had just had surgery, and that it would hurt you, and get everyone angry at me, and you still did not care.
If I had not caught myself like I did, then you and XXXXX would have possibly been injured too. When everyone yelled at me for almost falling into you two, I told all of you that he shoved me. XXXXX knew something happened, and I had a cut on my calf, bruises, and no reason to make it up. The evidence was there. XXXXX at least admitted to knowing that he ran up behind me, but he does not want to admit to it anymore.
You still did not care, or listen. What is the point of talking to someone who allows for abusive behavior, and refuses to listen. All of my words have fallen on “deaf ears.” I see no reason to continue speaking to you because it goes nowhere, unless it leads me to being ridiculed, abused, or injured.
He is not as stupid as you and XXXXX believe that he is. He knows the camera layout, and knows how to get around them. He is manipulative, and I refuse to be victimized by him again. XXXXX said that he was caught on tape.
I only go out two nights per week, why do you choose to bring him in on those nights? Why can’t you allow XXXXX and myself space in a stress-free environment? XXXXX saw my injuries, and defended me, but you even refused to listen to her. She is not happy about this at all. She wonders, as do I, why you would defend XXXXX against her ex, when you clearly had not seen him injure her, but you disregarded everything that we, and others tried to tell you about that guy, and how he was treating us.
No one is trying to tell you what to do. We are trying to tell you what you have done. I cannot trust you to keep me safe, even though I protected you from injury. XXXXX feels the same. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
XXXXX and I defend each other, because that is what friends do, but mainly, because it is the RIGHT thing to do, especially in this case.
You let us both down, you refuse to drop it, and then you act like you are the injured party. You have involved others, even though this is proving to make the situation worse. I do not understand any of this. You are not the person that I thought that you were, and I do not want or need the added stress of putting up with your “bauble.” Neither does XXXXX.
If you ever want to have XXXXX as your friend, then you need to be one to her. She is not crazy, and she walks away from conflict unless she is trapped. Stop telling people negative things about her, and give them time to get to know her. I got to know her, and she is nothing like you said that she is.
I am so proud of her for doing what is right, and she is so hurt that you refuse to. He hurt both of us, and you continue to protect, and defend him. We both deserved better than that, especially from you.
This all began over his pettiness, but your alcohol consumption, and medications have played a huge part in it. Something that you are mixing with the alcohol has made you change. We have tried to talk to you about it since October, but the situation seems to be getting worse.
Your therapist seems to be a big part of the problem. May I suggest you try this one?
The bottom line is that you have not been a friend to either one of us, even though we have been one to you. You have ignored everything that we have said, and neither one of us trusts you anymore.
There are several people that have decided that lying about what they’ve witnessed is the best route to take, that’s their problem. The truth is in the tapes at the bar. Our version has not changed, because it is the truth!
Trust is a big issue, and you broke that by not listening to us, and by hurtful things that you have said. Instead you prefer to bury your head in the sand. I hope you get your shit together soon, because you have made some very bad choices, and your friends/friendships have suffered for it.
Sincerely, XXXXX and XXXXX