The DTs: Episode 3

Life

Definition: the general or universal condition of human existence

The high wears off too quickly.

I feel like none of my “flirtationships” are getting past that stage. That’s ok, but I’m still going to be lonely. I get an actual, physical high from physical affection (usually romantic, but once in a while platonic).

  • A few moments caressing the hair and neck of a woman that I feel is beautiful.
  • A quick, few stolen kisses from a man much too young.
  • Giving a back rub to a romantic interest.

Those things pick me up, for just a little while. Then I plummet right back down again. I know it is because it’s so far and in between.

Continue reading The DTs: Episode 3

The DTs: Episode 2

Bully

Definition: a person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people

The Golden Rule:

(Luke 6:31) Do to others what you would want them to do to you.

Base on my own experiences and perceptions, (obviously and of course), I believe that people are not innately good. I think we’re rather neutral. For most of us, kindness and compassion have to be taught and then that kind of behavior must be reinforced. I think though, that these qualities to help our society to run a bit more smoothly.

As I’ve gotten older, I notice that people just aren’t all that “nice” anymore. Our memories can and do change, so maybe I’m just not remembering correctly. Then again, people might just really be shittier than they used to be.

I’m usually the first to admit that I’m not a good person. Generally, I’m average, maybe a bit south of neutral. Sometimes though, it’s a real struggle to remember to follow the *Golden Rule*. I lose that battle a lot more than I like. I know for a fact that I’m pretty darn self-absorbed. (Too bad it’s not the ego-boosting kind!) I have a lot of unreasonable and unprovoked anger and a tendency towards bullying and abuse. I don’t feel like I’m going out of my way to hurt people for no reason, but I know I retaliate when I feel I’ve been hurt or provoked. And really? I just feel that if I’m not treating the people I encounter with respect and kindness, then I don’t deserve to be treated well.

I’m working on these things. It’s a process. I am trying to be aware of the times I exhibit these nasty behaviors and why and try to adjust. I know it’s something I will always have to work on. I fail, a lot, but I think (hope) my success are coming more often. There are some GENUINELY good people among my friends and peer group. I’m always ashamed of, and disappointed in myself when I don’t live up to their examples.

I feel that if I can become a better person, then I will have a better quality of life.

Next time on the DTs:

I want a better life.